Thursday, March 8, 2012


*Note: This is most definitely going to be a venting blog. I just needed somewhere to get this out, and it seems no one is willing to hear the truth. Hopefully someone will get on here, see this, and realize that something needs to be done.*

Babies. Pregnancy. In my opinion, there is maybe only one other moment in life that even comes close to comparing to bringing a new human being into this world (the day you marry your best friend). However, if you are 18 and not in a committed relationship, getting pregnant can really change things for you. I know. Trust me. So naturally, it really bothers me when an 18-year-old girl is pregnant and treating it like she's getting a new car! This is a baby! A human being! Not a prize. Not a trophy. Not something that you can give away, trade, donate, or just set on a shelf or in a drawer when you are done with it and don't want it anymore.

I know of a girl who is in this situation right now. She's 18, still in high school, and not in a committed relationship. However, I am constantly given the impression that she is thinking that having a baby is: easy, cheap, and only temporary. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, the bad guy, but she needs to realize that's not the case. Unfortunately, no one is willing to sit her down and tell her that.

She is constantly going back and forth with the father of the baby. He wants to be involved, he doesn't want to be involved. She wants to be with him, she doesn't want to be with him. That right there needs to stop. Now. If he wants to be with her and be a part of the baby's life, then he will be. Forcing him into it isn't going to do any good. He has to WANT to be. She doesn't listen to me.

She blacks out in a beauty supply store. One, being around chemicals isn't good for a pregnant woman. I had to restrain myself from getting my hair colored because I was told I couldn't be around the "fumes". She is taken to the ER where they tell her she blacked out because she hadn't eaten or drank enough that day. Really? RULE #1: EAT AND DRINK, HEALTHY! Is it really that hard to keep a water bottle with you? Is it seriously impossible to keep some sort of snack bar, or bag of trail mix, or granola or something in your car or your purse? You work at a fast food restaurant! I know it's not the healthiest, but can't you take a break and eat something there? What about while you are at school? They don't serve you food? You can't have a granola bar in between classes? If you're afraid of gaining weight, forget about that now. You are going gain weight when having a baby! I was told that (for my weight and height and age) I was supposed to gain 25-35 pounds. I gained 30. With some exercising (which is possible with a baby) I lost it. All of it.

The final straw was when she made a comment about having "life-changing decisions to make". I replied, and she told me to text her about it. So I did. Her response was one of not being ready to tell family (yes, she is a relative) because she doesn't want a lecture. Really? You know, sometimes real good comes from those lectures. When I pointed out (yes, I did it nicely) that she had told me to text her, her response was, "I forgot lol". ugh.

This young lady really needs to open her eyes. A baby is a serious thing. Not to be taken lightly. You can still enjoy having a baby. You can have fun, be happy, be excited. But you also need to be aware that it isn't easy. It is expensive. It is life-changing in itself. And it is not temporary. Even when your little one goes off to college, gets married, has children of his/her own. You still worry, you still care, you still try to take care of them. Just ask your own parents.

It just really bothers me, how lightly she is taking this situation. Her dreams are put on hold now, indefinitely. She has to support more than just herself now. She isn't reading up, or studying anything about pregnancy. She is focusing more on baby names and trying to have a relationship with the father than she is making sure she is doing everything right for her baby.

She is due in September, so hopefully she learns, realizes, and accepts these facts. Hopefully she also knows that I, along with the rest of her family, are all here for her. To help her, but not do everything for her.

I think I've said {more} than enough. I don't want to make any ripples in the water, or start any arguments, or any debates on here. I just needed to get this out. Like I said, I think people are in denial and someone needs to show her that, yes, she can still have fun and be excited, but this is still a serious matter.

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